Turn Envy into Inspiration

Have you ever felt envy towards someone else’s success?

A friend announces they are in a new relationship, or a colleague gets that promotion you were wishing for and you suddenly feel this wave of jealousy come over you. These feelings are rooted in envy, which are triggered by social comparison where people compare themselves to others and feel inadequate. Envy is a natural human emotion which everyone experiences and does not need to be a negative experience. If approached with a healthy mindset, envy can be a signal which will direct you towards what you really want in life. It can highlight if you are performing at a lower level than what is required to reach your goals or it can make you aware of a desire you didn’t know you had. 

Let’s take the above example, a colleague of yours has just received a promotion you were hoping to get. This may trigger some feelings of jealousy and resentment towards them. This is normal as you have similar aspirations as your colleague and were hoping you would get the promotion. You can’t control these feelings, but you can control how you respond to them. This is your opportunity to turn your envy into inspiration and how you respond will decide where you go next. If you were to let these feelings fester it may have a strain on your work relationship. You may get into a negative mindset where you start to tell yourself that you are undervalued or unappreciated. All of this will impact your mental health and your confidence and may result in you responding to the situation in not a kind way. 

There is an alternative, you could allow this situation to inspire you to achieve similar or greater success than your colleague. You could allow the envy to highlight areas where you are lacking in comparison to your colleague. You could reach out to them for advice and discover how they achieved their success. By doing all of this, you are taking this opportunity to reflect and identify areas of improvement which will lead to even greater success in the future.

Do you see how different both outcomes are? While you could not change the situation, you had control in how you let it influence your mindset. Envy, though often seen as a negative emotion, can often motivate individuals in a positive way. In this situation envy was the catalyst for personal growth and self-improvement.  

Overcoming envy can be a challenging process, but with self-awareness and proactive steps, such as the below, it is possible. 

When someone experiences jealousy it is usually accompanied by feelings of shame. This is because jealousy is viewed as a negative emotion associated with insecurity and pettiness, which we now know it is not. This leads to feelings of shame as people believe they should not be having these emotions.

To overcome feelings of envy, you first need to cultivate a healthier relationship with it and this can only be achieved by removing shame. If you are beating yourself up about feeling jealous you will not be able to motivate yourself to see the positive in the situation. So, the next time you feel envy, remind yourself that it is a normal human emotion experienced by many people.

The universe is abundant with opportunities for connections, endless creativity and personal growth and development. Just because someone gets something that you want does not mean they have taken the opportunity away from you. Embracing the abundance of opportunities around you combined with a proactive mindset can lead you to achieving success you never thought possible.

Gratitude has been proven to have huge positive effects both mentally and physically. It has been shown to decrease depression, anxiety and difficulties with chronic pain. Gratitude can also be a great antidote to envy and can help individuals overcome its negative effects. When practising gratitude you are focusing on everything you have in your life which shifts the focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. This helps you cultivate healthy emotions such as contentment and joy which increases overall life satisfaction.

Your personal values are like a compass which can help you navigate your way forward in life. Your values will act like a north star when you need to make important decisions in life. This will prevent you from being envious of things that are not important to you. If you are not clear on what is important to you, you will feel like everything is important and envy will appear at every corner. 

Check out my previous blog on personal values for help discovering them.

Turning envy into inspiration can bring numerous positive outcomes and benefits into your life. While it won’t always be easy and will take a lot of effort sometimes the positive outcomes will be worth it.